Mirage

I saw that your sister got married today.

What a happy day that must have been -

She was beaming, glowing,

A grin stretched from ear to ear,

Smiling with her partner,

The holy land behind them -

The perfect backdrop.

I am reminded with a stinging prick

That it could never be us.

I see her happiness and I wonder

How you are holding up -

Are you really happy?

Are you still searching?

Have you found your joy yet?

Do you like the same things as me,

Even now?

Would you still like my favorite playlists,

Or do you run from anything that reminds you,

Even the good?


Life is cruel and unfair,

Yet we go on.

Growth forces itself on us,

Tells us we are better off,

Convincing us that the pain

And the familiar chaos

Of our lovers quarrels

Are a relic of times past,

That today is for today,

The future awaits,

And that the doors that have closed

Are locked for good.


If the locks are for the better,

Why does my heart still

Look for the key?

When will the hope finally die,

I wonder?

When will I be able to accept

That you are not wondering,

You are not curious,

You have no stomach for the

Hunger of yesterday -

You are quite comfortable

Keeping us locked behind

Bars of regret.

It means the chaos is gone

For good,

It means the wildfire of our passion

Stands no chance of ignition;

Snuffed out forever,

The embers grow cold and stale

As the years drag on,

And the memories fade -

Just the way you hoped.


When will my heart accept

That the mirage of you

Will never match the man,

That the locks without keys

Exist to protect

Us both from the wreckage

That is “you and I,”

That your sister is happy,

And that changes nothing

For me,

Does it?