I saw that your sister got married today.
What a happy day that must have been -
She was beaming, glowing,
A grin stretched from ear to ear,
Smiling with her partner,
The holy land behind them -
The perfect backdrop.
I am reminded with a stinging prick
That it could never be us.
I see her happiness and I wonder
How you are holding up -
Are you really happy?
Are you still searching?
Have you found your joy yet?
Do you like the same things as me,
Even now?
Would you still like my favorite playlists,
Or do you run from anything that reminds you,
Even the good?
Life is cruel and unfair,
Yet we go on.
Growth forces itself on us,
Tells us we are better off,
Convincing us that the pain
And the familiar chaos
Of our lovers quarrels
Are a relic of times past,
That today is for today,
The future awaits,
And that the doors that have closed
Are locked for good.
If the locks are for the better,
Why does my heart still
Look for the key?
When will the hope finally die,
I wonder?
When will I be able to accept
That you are not wondering,
You are not curious,
You have no stomach for the
Hunger of yesterday -
You are quite comfortable
Keeping us locked behind
Bars of regret.
It means the chaos is gone
For good,
It means the wildfire of our passion
Stands no chance of ignition;
Snuffed out forever,
The embers grow cold and stale
As the years drag on,
And the memories fade -
Just the way you hoped.
When will my heart accept
That the mirage of you
Will never match the man,
That the locks without keys
Exist to protect
Us both from the wreckage
That is “you and I,”
That your sister is happy,
And that changes nothing
For me,
Does it?
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